Monday, 2 June 2025

Goodnight Sweetheart- It's Time To Go

 


My first ever football match at Goodison Park I would have been when I was about 7 or 8 years of age. My dad wanted to take me to see Brazil play during the 1966 World Cup final, however my mother thought it might be a bit unsafe. This was possibly because I was known as the great little escaper due to the fact I could just go off to wander on my own from a incredibly early age. Mind you, I suspect that even I would have struggled to have got onto the pitch to play with Pele.

 


So the first match I actually went to would have been a midweek match (I remember it was floodlit) probably sometime in 1968.  My first impression was that it was so huge and there were people everywhere!!! I think we were probably in the Gladys St end but I couldn’t say for certain. I was happy to just follow dad as he seemed to know where he was going.

 

We found a good spot and could watch the team warm up and I helped dad hark up the team on the back of the match programme.  Then the match started and the noise almost overcome me. I was blown away Trying to keep up with who had the ball. However, I made it 10 minutes into the match before the excitement hit my bladder (as a matter of fact 10 minutes would have been quite good for me)! When I have to go to the loo when I really have to go to the loo. It’s the same to this day! I asked dad where can I go and he just pointed over his shoulder and said it's up that way, up some steps, down the other side and you'll be able to smell it. It was obvious he wasn’t coming with me but as I've said I quite liked the exploring, so I wandered off toddled my way through the crowd.  It didn’t take long to find the incredibly smelly trough with like a low concrete wall that passed for a toilet.

 


The problem started went I back into the terraces I'm thinking to myself it can't be that difficult to get there back to dad. How wrong I was. When I got to the top of the steps I just saw a wall of incredibly tall men. I couldn't even see the pitch. Suddenly I began to feel very afraid. I must have also looked it too because some man turned around and looked at me and said, ‘where you going, lad?’ I said I just got back from the toilets and I can't find me dad. So this bloke said ‘where are you standing?’ and I told him it was just behind the goal. He laughed. ‘we're all behind the bleeding goal, son!’ But he shouted has anybody lost a little lad. But there was no response so he actually picked me bodily and asked if I could spot dad. I still couldn't see couldn’t so this bloke literally passed me forward like a prototype mosh pit saying 'This lad's lost, pass him on until he can see his dad.' Can you imagine that happening these days? I don't even think I would want it to happen these days.

 


After what seemed like a few hours I could see dad walking towards me with a face like Thunder. I said to the bloke who's holding me at that point could you let me down which he did. I ran over to dad who looked really angry. I thought I was in trouble because he had probably been looking for me for ages. When I got up to him, he looked down and just said, ‘Did you find the toilet OK?’ It was like he hadn’t noticed how long I’d been gone for! ‘You didn’t miss much. Joe Royal’s just scored a bloody own goal.’

 

 



Like I say that was nearly 60 years ago. Last weekend was Everton’s last first team match at Goodison Park. Dad’s been gone 40-odd years he was there in spirit. me and my brother went down. We didn’t have tickets but we took photographs in the crowd, we all had a laugh and maybe add a bit of sniffle.  The crowd was loud both inside and out the stadium. But somewhere at the back of my head all I could hear was a singular voice saying;  ‘Joe Royal's just scored a bloody own goal.’

Friday, 19 August 2016

Shining Flying Purple Wolfhounds Travel Very Far (or at least to Dublin and back)


Sat on my fisrt ever airplane and so far so good- just sat through scary safety briefing. Is anyone really expected to remember all that? Most people just talked through it. In case of emergency they're on there own.

We seem to be taxiing. Is taxiing a real word? Doesn't look real.  Anyway, if we keep at this speed I'll be OK.

Transpires we aren't actually moving. Just warming up the engines. Oh boy.Flight assistant strapping herself in now. This shits about to get airborne!

Really don't like this feeling. Still feels a bit unsteady and I can feel each lift as the power grows.  Guess I've got 20 minutes or so of this.  And a headache. I wonder if this will clear my ears? If not, will it clear my belly button fluff?

Well it didn't but the boring (and loud. So very loud) guy who was sat next to me did.

Didn't get a chance to write anything else. He was just like a Father Ted character. The guy had a piercing laugh that caused the woman in front to keep turning round. I think she believed it was the cabin alarm going off and she was one of the ones talking through it.

We started down after about just 20 minutes in the air. Seemed to be going in circles, decending and then going back up again but my loud mouthed neighbour didn't give me much of a chance to work out what was happening.

We landed with a bump (quite a heavy one!). The idiot next to me still didn't shut up. The plane sped really fast down the runway but still took about 5 minutes to taxi around and then stop. And that was it. All done with no call for Leslie Nielson.